As a child who grew up from a poor family in a remote area, it was always been my dream to finish a degree for me to secure a better future not just for me but for my family too. During my early stage of schooling, I've never disappointed my parents and they were always proud of my achievements. They have the confidence in me that I will succeed in whatever journey I may take. But as a young girl that time, I still don't have that enough knowledge about the best profession for me in the future. It was hard to decide considering all the factors that might affect me in pursuing my dream. But one day when I was in high school, I attended a commencement exercises of my elementary Alma mater and on that day I was convinced to took up Bachelor of Science In Civil Engineering in college.
How and what made me decide to take up civil engineering? It was because of the guest of honor speaking in front of us during the commencement exercises. She is a civil engineer working in a very prominent company. Like me, she also came from a very simple family and she striven hard to be what she has become. As she share her story to the audience I was amazed by how she sacrificed for her to succeed. That person is no other than my godmother - Ninang Helen. I was inspired by her and on that day, she's the person I looked up to and I said to myself one day I will be a civil engineer too and that became my greatest dream.
Before being officially enrolled in Bachelor of Science In Civil Engineering there were so many doubts if I should pursue it or not. My mother said "kaya mo kaya anak kasi mahirap daw yung kurso na yan?". The first time I heard my mother doubted on me. My father said "mahihirapan ka din pagkagraduate kasi bibihira lang mapapasukan mong kompanya dito maliban lang kung lalayo ka". I know that was the greatest fear of my father - for me to go away from them. My sister said "naku magastos yan kasi five years ka mag-aaral tapos magrereview ka pa baka hindi natin kayanin ang gastos". My sister being practical for she was the one who was helping my parents financially. My brothers said "bakit yan ang kukunin mo di ka naman magaling mag-drawing?". I know from the start that I don't have the talent in drawing. But I was brave and determined enough and I said if there's a will there's a way. I wanted it so I would fight and work hard for it. Eventually, I was able to get the support of my family.
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Mariano Marcos State University Administration Building
(not my photo, grabbed from google) |
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College of Engineering
(not my photo, grabbed from google)
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Officially enrolled. Meet new classmates, new friends, new instructors and welcome to a new environment. Mariano Marcos State University is my Alma mater. At first was a happy go lucky. No worries and more of excitement. Then in the middle of my first semester struggles started to came out. Failed examinations in math subjects, sleepless nights for research works in minor subjects, returned plates in drawing which needs improvement. Then I started doubting myself if I could make it or not but I did not gave up. I studied harder until I finished the first semester. Unluckily, I just got a passing grade in most of my math subjects and worst I failed in one subject. I failed in drawing 101. At first I felt shame in myself because drawing 101 is very basic and I could not believe that I failed. I cried when I showed my class card with red mark to my mother. As expected my brother teased me and even told me that he knew from the start that this will happen. I cried harder but fortunately I got my mother's support. She comforted me and said "enroll mo na lang ulit para mas matuto, weakness mo yan pero kakayanin mo din at matutunan mo, kaya ka hindi pumasa kasi may mga dapat ka pang matutunan bago ka humakbang sa mas mataas na level". I smiled and thank her when suddenly she gave me a condition and said "siguraduhin mo na huling bagsak mo na yan dahil pag may sumunod pa sigurado papatigilin ka na namin". I was shocked with that condition but at the same time thankful because I still have a chance to pursue my dream.
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Struggle is real. We took examinations like this.
(not my photo, grabbed from facebook)
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The challenges continued as I stepped up to higher level. More sleepless nights, more research papers, early morning reviews for examinations, more drawing plates, and more requirements and this also means more money is needed. Providing me money more than my allotted allowance is a challenge to my parents. Every time I ask for additional money for projects my mother would get mad at me because she have is just enough for my allowance. But since I need to do my projects then she have no choice but to make a way to provide that extra money. She would go and lend some from our neighbors or sell something like vegetables, chicken, eggs, or rice. We are family of farmers so items like these are what we sell to make money. There are even times that she could not sell anything and could not borrow some from our neighbor so she would call my aunties abroad and ask for support. Thankful and grateful to them for they always have an open hand to help us every time we needed them. Without their support surely I would be nothing. Struggle is real but I wanted my dreams to be real so I pushed to study even harder.
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With my batch mates during our field trip.
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Time flew fast, and as I stepped up higher I always realized that things were really with me. In higher level we were already allowed to use computer aided design softwares that helped me to draw better. Thank God answered prayer to those who are not good in drawing like me but are inspiring to be an engineer. This time I passed all my subjects and no more failing grades until my fifth year. No failing grades and congrats to them kasi sila gagraduate na ako hindi pa. Yes, I needed 1 more year to finish all the subjects I left behind before when I failed in drawing 101.
To be continued.....
